If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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