normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
