so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
