There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
