Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
