I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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