he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
