who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
