Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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