Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
