we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
