I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I want a musical about memes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
