This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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