what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
