you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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