No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
