is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
