just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
