He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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