lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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