New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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