I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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