You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
