8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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