Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
