summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
