walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
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