Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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