Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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