Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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