The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
