It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ugly people sure do ruin things
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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