Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You may now shotgun with the bride
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
