Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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