She's JV to your varsity
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
