end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
