everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize