wat bout pragnant strippers??
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
