We're like a lot better than the average bears
we have pet lesbian snakes
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wanna go halves on a baby?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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