Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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