Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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