I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
