think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
