we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
