Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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