Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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