google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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