When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
