U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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