Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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