Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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