My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Houston, we have a squirter
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
