You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
