did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize