the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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