Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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