i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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