Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize