Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
