I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
