WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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