Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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