using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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