are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
