am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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