sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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