Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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