I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this will be a night to untag.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
